How Could Anyone Describe The Feeling Becoming A Grandma Gives...

Everyone keeps saying, "You're too young to be a Grandma." To which I reply, "Yea, but I'm a smokin' hot, sexy Grandma, so that's okay!" I was always excited by the idea of becoming a grandma. And even though it wasn't ideal for my unmarried 17 year old to become pregnant and not the way I wanted things to be for her because I knew it would be a difficult path, I have to say that God knows what he is doing. Rebekah and Pancho are very much in love, are very good to each other and JUST LOOK WHAT THEY DID! She is so perfect!
Ellisa Claire Barron was born Saturday Morning, June 18th, 2011 at 6:15am. She weighed 6lb. 15oz. and was 18.5" long. How could anyone imagine joy beyond the birth of your own children. It is amazing to hold her and love her and see all the others who love her surround her. The little sounds she makes and the way she tries so hard to focus on my face as I talk to her totally melts my heart.

The Kissing Ball

The Kissing Ball - I have become facinated by these very decorative ornaments lately.  A tradition handed down from the middle ages, they are thought to bring blessings to your home and fill it with love.  Also an ever present invitation to express affection to those who walk under it, it is somewhat like a year round mistle toe, but much prettier.

I made several by first hand crafting tiny paper flowers.  I then covered one of the foam balls with green mulberry paper torn into pieces and glued to the foam ball.  The other I covered in white mulberry paper and sprayed it with a fine irridescent glitter. I then secured each flower to a foam ball with corsage pins.  I was so excited about how they turned out.

The Problem with Cinder Blocks

Have you ever picked up and carried a cinder block?  Sturdy sucker, aren't they.  They have substance, that is for sure. 

As a single mother, soon to be grandmother and a full time staff accountant, my plate stays very full.  In addition, I am a very goal oriented person and someone who is much happier multitasking my way through life, rather than sitting back (even occassionally) as the spectator.  I like a perfectly clean and organized house (in theory) and a preplanned schedule.  As you can guess the label "single mother" and the description I just laid out go together as well as oil and water.

My goals, the things I would really like to do with my spare time (whatever that is), much like a cinder block, have substance.  My thinking, (again in theory) is that doing these things, completing unfinished projects, spending my time in many different endeavors would add substance to my life.  The problem is, again, much like a cinder block, those ideas are heavy suckers.  I carry them around in my mind waiting for that spare time to show up and the more ideas I want to try and the more goals I want to accomplish and the more I fool myself into thinking I can single handedly do it all, the more weighed down I am with the weight of those cinder blocks.  I become exhausted and discouraged just planning to do something outside of my daily life routine.

Clearly my life lacks priority.  And while I am not sure how to resolve this problem, I have done two very important things.  One, I have turned it over to God.  He will, as he sees fit, either give me the energy I lack, the direction I need or the wisdom to balance my life so that things fall into their proper prioritized place.  The second thing I have done is made one area in my craft room where I post ideas I would like to try or projects I would like to finish or goals I would like to accomplish.  Notice that I said "WOULD LIKE TO", not NEED TO.  My cinder blocks now seem sturdy enough to give my life substance, but not so heavy that I am crushed beneath them.  Whew!!!

To blog or not to blog...

My sister thinks I need to be a blogger.  Ok.  She thinks I need to focus more on my creative outlets.  Ok.  She thinks blogging is a great way to keep in touch in eachother's lives.  Ok.  I am sitting at work.  I'm totally focused on what I need to get done today.  As a single mother and the only income for our family, work is very important.  I don't take breaks or a lunch break.  I work late, hurry home, spend some "fast" quality time with my kids...yup an oxymoron, hurry to sleep so I can hurry and wake up and do it all over.  Underneath all that, I miss my family, feel panicked that my kids, neices and nephew are growing up way too fast and I feel a bit suffocated by my lack of creative anything.  To blog or not to blog.  That is the question.  I start looking at my families blogs on the breaks my supervisor is prodding me to take.  And suddenly my burden feels a thousand times lighter and I feel like I am in California (or wherever else) visiting my family.  I feel reconnected and not like life is forcing me to miss out on all the good stuff.  And guess what else...I started creating cards again!  So to answer the question...DEFINATELY To Blog!